The One About Dad and the Roadrage Incident

My Dad is a bit of a character and for many years we have laughed both with him and at him. Of course we are allowed to do this because we are his children and that really is a child's prerogative. It makes up for the times when he embarrassed us in front of our friends by dancing like a...well ...Dad!! Or duped us into going to bed early or worse getting up early by claiming it was later than it actually was.

I never really understood what he got from that!! As an adult I would probably say now "Hey Dad, why did you feel the need to do that...you know, the lying about the time thing? Is it something we should talk about? Can we up your medication?"
You know the sort of thing. But of course as a young teenage girl I would just cry and scream "IT'S NOT FAIR...AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH...NOBODY ELSE'S DAD LIES TO THEM ABOUT THE TIME. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. YOU'RE SOOOO DISRESPECTFUL. I HATE YOU!!!!!!"

So as I am obviously quite scarred from this bizarre behaviour I am purging the emotion by re-counting embarrassing incidents that Dad has been involved in. Call it therapy if you like.

No, really lets face it we all laugh at our parents and I have absolutely no doubt that Sun will do exactly the same to me and my wife Dave in not too many years hence. And if Dad knew how to write a blog I have no doubt he would be beating me to it.

That said let me tell you about Dad and a road rage incident.

My Dad used to travel a fair few miles every day to get to and from work and driving through London in the rush hour is nobody's idea of fun. The last thing anyone needs after a long day at the office, is an idiot sharing the same stretch of road who can't drive for toffee. But this is exactly the situation that my Dad found himself in.

On this particular day, Dad, in an effort to unwind on his journey home, tuned the car radio to some obscure, but I'm sure, very relaxing station and lit his smokers pipe before pulling out from the office.

Not long into what should have been a relatively pleasant commute, my Dad was cut up by what could only be described as a dangerous driver.

Furious that his entire life had been suddenly shot before his eyes, Dad waited for an appropriate point along the journey and then pulled into the nearside lane and alongside the offending driver with every intention of giving him a piece of his mind, with possibly an expletive or 2 thrown in for good measure.

Shooting his head round to the right, with a fierce look on his face, you can imagine Dad’s shock when in realised too late that he still had his pipe in his mouth. The pipe came into sharp contact with the side window and was shoved towards the back of his throat. The mouth piece of the pipe deflected off his uvula and only just missed spearing his left tonsil.

Oblivious to the near disaster, the idiot driver, who I should probably now refer to as the other driver, pulled away from the lights and continued on his journey.

Now you can fully understand why Dad became even more irate and so it’s no surprise to hear that Dad followed the other driver to the next set of lights where again he pulled alongside him with again the intention of pointing out his less than illustrious driving skills.

Keen not to repeat the last humiliating episode, Dad wound down his window, pushed his head out, and with eyes bulging and face glowering he shouted in his meanest voice “Oi”, at which point his pipe fell out of his mouth and onto the road where it then bounced under the car.

It was at this point that Dad decided to let the other drivers’ misdemeanour go and sheepishly opened the car door to retrieve his pipe.

Thankfully the remainder of his journey was less eventful.

I don’t know about mobile phones but pipe smoking whilst driving seems well dangerous.

Love you Dad xxx