The One About a Home Made Christmas

It's nearly Christmas, in case you had failed to notice. Although you could be forgiven for not realising it if the lack of Christmas cheer in my local Asda is anything to go by. Apart from Slade blasting out and the odd cashier (and I do mean odd cashier) with flashing Christmas tree earrings and a tinsel halo, there seems to be a distinct lack of Christmas buzz.

Not to be deterred we have been doing our best to build the excitement throughout December. And in fact I am going to write this blog whilst listening to Christmas tunes and I may even pour myself a snifter of Christmas sherry to warm my cockles and to really get into the festive mood.

Cheers!!

Sun is 4 now and is getting very excited about Santa's impending arrival and I'm guessing that like most children he has become the Devil incarnate whilst he waits for Christmas Eve. The build up to the actual day seems to have taken years for one so small and quite frankly he is fed-up having to be good just to ensure that he doesn't get relegated to the naughty list.
It doesn't help that we have fireplaces in most rooms in our house so there are few places he can go where he can't be overheard by Santa or one of his elves. Add to that that Mummy has a hot-line in to the North Pole, aka Grandad, and the poor boy has no escape.
In an effort to keep him on the straight and narrow, Sun has received an email as well as a letter from the main man himself plus he has visited him in his less than convincing grotty hole at the local garden centre. I think Dave and I may be in serious danger of inflicting Santa overload on Sun, but it's too late now with only 3 sleeps to go. We can't stop, we are on a non-stop roller-coaster of seasonal hype which will only end at 4am on Christmas morning when Sun, in an absolute frenzy, the making of which is all ours, tears into our room before tearing into his presents. (Note to self- keep back some of the sherry- likely to need it at about 9.30 am Christmas morning to keep myself going!)

But it will be worth it to see his little face when he see's Santa's magic footprints leading to the pile of parcels and sees the thank you letter attached to the chimney breast, just above the empty plate and glass where once F.C's mince pie and sherry lay. (Another note to self- might need more sherry!)

Ah, Christmas seems made for children, doesn't it? Unless you have a Dad like mine, who would ring a bell outside my bedroom door if I wasn't up by 6am on Christmas morning. "He's been, he's been!!" he would shout. "Dad I'm 17 and hungover!" I would reply.

Hang on, I'm having a flash back!!!.....Was anybody else subjected to bread and dripping on Christmas Eve? Were times ever that hard??

Talking of which and fittingly considering the current financial crisis, one of my favourite Christmas's occurred in the 80's at a time when my sister, Emmy-lou, aka, psycho bitch from hell, which seems a bit harsh unless you know her (but said with total affection), was the only member of our family in paid employment; the rest of us had been made redundant. As you can imagine Christmas had to be a slimmed down version that year and so a crisis meeting was called to decide how we could bring good cheer whilst spending little money. Dad and uncle would brew their own beer, all cakes, mince pies, sausage rolls, sweets etc would be home made, and Emmy-Lou and I would make our own crackers and Christmas hats.

So with crepe paper, toilet rolls inner tubes and glue sticks in hand we set to crafting our way through 13 or so Christmas crackers and hats. It was the most fun I had had in a long time and how Sis and I laughed when we typed up all of Dad's corniest jokes to put inside the crackers; jokes we had heard year after year and although they were terrible, we held them with great affection and still do mainly because they make Dad laugh so much!- One liners such as "My wife's an angel- always up in the air harping about something. My wife wanted an animal skin coat for Christmas, so I bought her a donkey jacket. I have a photographic memory that was never developed. I have 3 children-one of each!!" And so they went.

Christmas lunch arrived and 13 of us squeezed around a table made for 8. The crackers and hats looked great at Christmas lunch. The crackers pulled well although we did have to shout "BANG" every time one was pulled because we had forgotten to put the snap in. The hats were very festive and actually looked much better than the flimsy paper crowns that you usually have to wear.

The fun started however, when the jokes were read out. With each new joke Dad laughed louder and louder and with each new joke the rest of the family joined in the punchline until 8 jokes in when Dad, who was by now holding his splitting sides, suddenly stopped laughing and said, "Hey, they're all MY jokes!!"
Needless to say Dad's sudden realisation was funnier than all the jokes put together and the rest of the family burst into laughter. We laughed so much, probably helped along by the home-brew, that the combined body temperatures around the snug table started to rise and one by one the dye from our paper hats started to run down our foreheads and there we sat for the rest of the meal with green and red staining on our faces. Very festive!!

Emmy-Lou said that the colour in the hats ran because they were crepe, but I thought they were alright!! ;0)

Anyway, for now, whatever your current financial situation, I wish you and your families a Very Merry Christmas and a Peaceful New Year.

One more sherry then, just for the road!! Hic!!