The One About Sun and the Embarrassing Incident

I love kids or to be precise I love my kid. He is a very bright 4 year old or so I like to think. He is very good at maths, has started to read and has a wide vocabulary.
So it was no surprise to me when, the other evening, he told me that we should "compromise" over what he was going to be fed at tea time.
I proposed a healthy roast chicken and vegetables; he wanted a jam and marmite sandwich, a packet of jelly babies and yoghurt with chocolate balls.
We settled on pasta followed by yoghurt. He also negotiates very well!!

Anyway being very impressed with his command of the English language I was actively seeking an opportunity to show off and when a situation arose with Sun and his cousin arguing over their opposing choice of which DVD to watch, I sprung into action.

Me: "Now Sun, we have spoken about this sort of situation before, haven't we?"

Sun: "Yes Mummy we have."

Me: "So if your cousin wants to watch Ice Age and you want to watch Cars, what should we do?"

Sun just looked blank. He obviously needed a bit of prompting.

Me:" If your cousin wants to watch Ice Age and you want to watch Cars what do we need to do?.....(Sun still looking blank)......we need to...?

Sun: "TELEVISIONS. We need 2 televisions!"

Me:" I thought we might compromise!!!!"

Sun looked at me as if he had never heard the word before!! So much for showing off!!

The trouble with him being bright is that we sometimes forget he is as little as he is. He is going through the rude word stage at the moment. Everyone and everything smells like poo or wee-wee or he is declaring that he can see your willy.

Me: "Sun you can't possibly see my willy because I am a lady and what don't ladies have?"

Sun: "Elbows?" (NB to self: did I say he was bright? Perhaps I'm getting him confused with Dave! Must check with school!)

Now as far as bodies are concerned we are ok with nudity in our family and have never felt the need to cover up around each other. But there have been a couple of incidents just recently when we have questioned whether the time had come to be more discreet.

The first was when Sun gave me a lovely picture that we had spent some considerable time drawing. It was a picture of a person with spiky hair, ears, big eyes and a huge smile. On the body in the area of the chest were 2 large circles. My wife Dave and I gave a knowing look at each other and commended him on the picture.

“It's a picture of you Mummy" he declared and off he trotted.

We had a brief conversation about the location of the circles and concluded that they could only be his representation of my breasts.
So we were greatly relieved when he informed us that they were in fact my nostrils.

What they were doing on my torso is beyond me but I guess mine is not to reason why.

This morning however I caught Sun innocently videoing me naked in the bathroom on his kids digital camera. We had a discussion about privacy and respect and said that videoing people when they were naked wasn't a good idea. He seemed to understand and we agreed to delete the video once I had finished in the bathroom.

I didn't delete it however as I got caught up in my morning chores such as feeding the cat, the chickens and Sun, then washing up, putting dirty clothes in the washing machine etc and as the morning went on I forgot all about the video.

In fact it didn't cross my mind again until I saw Sun showing the neighbour his selection of self produced short movies on his camera. I think my saving grace was that the images were quite blurred and the neighbour had forgotten her spectacles! But I didn't realise that until after I'd had a Tenna Lady moment and then truly did smell of wee-wee!

In the words of my mother....."Kid's! Who'd have them??"