The One About A Boiled Egg

Sun comes home from school demanding as he always does a snack to keep him going until dinner time.
Sun: "Can I have a soft boiled egg and soldiers Mummy?"

Now, for some unknown reason I find it extremely difficult to boil an egg and retain a soft yolk.

I have tried the Delia method of leaving the egg in hot water but removing it from the heat. I have tried placing it in a pan of cold water first, I have tried putting the egg straight into hot water. I have used an egg timer, I have guesstimated. I have even watched a video by the British Egg Information Service, which states that the water should be 3 cm above the top of the egg! I still work in inches so that really threw me. Then she stirred the egg half way through and I really couldn't see the point of that. Then I read a comment from a viewer that had tried the British Egg Information Services technique and apparently his egg had turned out "as hard as shit" so I didn't bother going any further with that method!

Now, like most parents, I don't like disappointing my son so I have learnt to manage his expectations.

Me: "So you would like a boiled egg, would you?"

Sun: "Yes please Mummy"

Me: "Ok Sun, but instead of a runny yolk how about a nice hard boiled egg?"

Sun: "No I'd like to dip my soldiers in it."

Me (switching the telly on):"Oh look it's Special Agent Oso on. You like that don't you?"

Sun: "Yeah it's my favourite programme." (getting very animated)

Me: "Oh dear. You're going to miss it because you'll be eating your egg in the dining room. I would let you eat it in here but the yolk might drip onto the carpet. Now if you were having a hard boiled egg you could've eaten it in here whilst you were watching TV. Never mind"

Sun (almost shouting):"No, no, no. It's ok Mummy I'll have a hard boiled egg instead."

"Are you sure?" I say, wringing my hands and stifling an evil laugh as I make my way to the kitchen.

I have out-witted a 4 year old and I FEEL GOOD,BABY!!

So on goes the egg- straight into cold water where it wobbles back and forth just 3ish cms below the water line. Up to the boil it comes and I carefully lower the heat so that the water simmers in the pan. I give the egg a little stir- just in case- and wait until a point in time when I am sure that it has been on long enough to be truly rubbery.

I plate up some chunks of cucumber (one of his five a day!),10 grapes (another one of his five a day- god I'm good!), a small polish sausage- kabanos and then I begin to peel the egg.

It's not as firm as I was expecting!

It is decidedly soft in my hand but I have committed myself to peeling it entirely, so the shell must go.

I am beginning to worry now. After duping Sun into accepting a hard boiled egg it seems I have quite accidentally produced a soft yolk. How could this be?

To be on the safe side I put the now naked egg into a ceramic egg cup and gently remove the top.

To my astonishment the egg yolk is semi- soft! The white bit and the outer yolk are hard but a tiny yellow puddle of yolk remains runny right in the centre!

So now, not only can I not deliver a soft boiled egg but I can't even hard boil one!

I feel fairly useless at this point until I have a sudden flash of inspiration.
I have duped him once. I WILL DUPE HIM AGAIN!!!!!! (MwahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha, accompanied by evil wringing of hands!)

I take the plate into the living room and place it on an occasional table next to Sun. (NB to self- I wonder what the table is when on occasions it isn't a table?)

Me: "Here you are Sun. Now you know that you couldn't decide if you wanted a soft or hard boiled egg!!!?????"

Sun: "Yes." (He is so hungry he would agree to anything at this point!)

Me: "Well I have made you an egg that is half and half! I have hard boiled it but left a little bit of runny yolk in the middle so you can dip your sausage in it."

Sun: "WOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!! That's really clever Mummy!"

Me: "I KNOW!!!"


So, I got away with it. This time!
I really hope he never asks for his egg to be poached!!